Blame the "Editing Monkeys" at Bravo...AGAIN

Well, if nothing else, Tamra is consistent. All season, she claims to have been misrepresented and spliced and diced. I didn't much believe her then--I sure as hell don't believe her now.

I linked Tamra's blog on one of my posts last night, but I was too tired to take it apart. I had read Andy Cohen's blog earlier in the day and he said he'd heard from Simon who said Tamra was upset with how she was portrayed. Andy, more or less, called bullshit. It's not possible to ADD words to Tamra's mouth or twist her actions at the party.

Since Little Miss Defensive generally posts her blog first among the Housewives, I wasn't surprised this time that it took her until Friday night. It wasn't like ignoring her actions would make them go away....so she's back to her fall back position of blaming the editors.

TAMRA SAYS I was surprised to see the storyline in this episode. Do you really think I would go to all the trouble and expense just to get someone drunk? There was no conspiracy or plot. If I never made that drunken comment, the show would have gone in a completely different direction. No one had a plot to hurt anyone! I made the drunken stupid comment to Vicki and production RAN with the idea to hype the show (which worked because the ratings were through the roof).

I SAY--Huh? It wasn't a "storyline." It was a dinner party run amok. YES, I think you'd go to the trouble of getting someone drunk (whom you despise for being far hotter) and the expense?? That's laughable. I am sure Bravo paid for the vast majority (if not all, since all the Housewives were present) or are we supposed to believe you'd hire Brian Malarkey on your own? It was ONE etiquette class, not a lifetime with a Miracle Worker.

IF YOU NEVER MADE THAT COMMENT TO VICKI? Why didja? Hmmm?

TAMRA SAYS: If you noticed we were pretty much all "wasted" before I made that comment to Vicki, who in returned said, "Gretchen is already wasted." I think Vic and Jeana were the most sober housewives there. I went shot for shot with Gretchen, no one held a gun to our heads.

It was actually one of the best nights we had together -- I think Gretchen is one of the funniest girls I know. My kids are still walking around the house yelling, "TamRRRAAAAAAAAAA." We all knew the footage was going to be wild, but we had no idea about the twist it would take.


MY ANSWER Yes, Vicki said Gretchen was already wasted, but you insisted on NAKED wasted. Then in your post party on camera, you said Gretchen was only showing herself in a positive light and you wanted to reveal her dark side. You gloated, in that same SOBER interview that tequila always brings on bad behavior. Are we now backtracking and saying it was a stupid idea hatched in a drunken moment? You might wanna take back the Oscar you thought Gretchen deserved in the restaurant and return it to yourself, if you think you could convince anyone of this BS on your blog.


Your kids are still walking around and saying, "TamRRRAAAAA?" Awesome that you try to use being shitfaced as an excuse for your judgment, yet your kids were present for this debauchery? Classy.

TAMRA SAYS: I knew Ryan and Gretchen were talking, but that was all I knew. Gretchen is a cute girl and Ryan had never met her before, he had no idea she had a boyfriend. As for Ryan's behavior, he did nothing wrong! If you watch the footage, his hands were to himself and most of the night he was rolling his eyes at us. At one point he had to catch Gretchen from falling at the bar. When things did get out of hand, Simon pulled Ryan aside and explained the situation. Ryan is a 23-year-old single boy and acted like any boy would if a pretty girl was flirting with them.


My REPLY: What?? You knew they were "talking?" No. You were hanging on Ryan's other arm, lamenting that he told you Gretchen was HOTTER. When people just "talk" to your son, do you issue the warning that he's a "man whore?" Is that why, in your sober next day interview, you looked surprised that the two of them just "disappeared?"

You say, when "things got out of hand," Simon pulled Ryan aside. Jesus, was that before creepy son went with one of your guests into the bathroom? You want to pin this on Gretch flirting with Ryan, but distance yourself for "pretending" he was there to bartend and all he did was fetch shots for her at your behest, Mommy Dearest. You are psycho.

TAMRA SAYS At the end of the night, Simon made sure everyone took cabs home (including Ryan). Gretchen was so drunk that we were afraid she was going to pass out in the back of the cab and who knows what would had happened, so she decided to stay at our house. Simon sat up with her for a while and made her something to eat. They talked about Jeff and what he was going through. Simon's mother had cancer 3 times and he was with her through the process.

All the while I was in the bathroom hugging the toilet. I felt really bad about the comment I made when I saw the footage and knew at that time I SHOULD NOT DRINK. One thing I learned from this week's episode is that alcohol does not mix well with my Indian blood and therefore I should stop drinking. No excuses.


From me: Well, I hope next week's episode is as dull as you make it sound! Based on last week's blog when you wrote that SIMON was mad at GRETCHEN, he must be quick to forgive and stay up to fix her a snack. IF TRUE, he may be the only one in your house with a conscience....?

According to what you are writing--this party was in August and it took you SEEING the footage, five months later, to realize you shouldn't be drinking? Did the OC have power failure when your antics of Lake Havasu aired several weeks back? That was not pretty...and so it just now dawns on you, at 41, that maybe there's a problem. Well, WOO HOO!


And what is this unadulterated crap about being INDIAN? Sure, blame your ancestry. maybe you can change your name from Tamra to TONTO and we'll accept that Indian blood!!

Finally, TAMRA finishes with this diddy: Everyone is responsible for his or her own actions, drunk or not. I know that people are very opinionated about this week's episode and I understand why from the footage. But truth be told, the girls and I are a family. We might be dysfunctional, but in the end we are on this crazy ride together.

Absolutely. Everyone *is* responsible for her own actions--and that means stepping out from behind the editors you malign. Brian Malarkey, the chef, was there and sober and his account is no different from what we saw. Your immediate family is quite dysfunctional so don't drag the other Housewives into your idea of a "crazy ride." I hope it's not set in stone that you're all in this ride together because I think both you and Vicki are a bit long-in-the-tooth for this schtick. You are too vain to willingly leave the cameras, but nothing would make me happier than for this show to go in a totally different direction and for you and Vickster to be put out to pasture or plantation or wherever it is that people who claim to be Indian go to hide when they have over exposed themselves and their innocent children on tv. Sheesh!

WTF?

Okay, technically not reality television, but don't tell Nancy Grace...

What in hell is wrong with Casey Anthony?? I left Headline News on all night tonight as I set up my blog so it's about the 4th time I watched Nancy's show on one night. A record. Anyway, they pulled out some never-before-seen tape of Casey from jail, back in August. Not only did this bitch kill her adorable daughter, she is a horrible actress. She keeps forgetting that she's supposed to be UPSET because, you know, her daughter was kidnapped.

I hope her trial is televised. I know it's a long way off, but she's got the rest of her life to spend behind bars. I hope it's a long one.

PS--This biatch just complained that she's been in jail for a month!! Ironic because her daughter was dead, I mean allegedly kidnapped, over a month and she didn't notify a soul.

 

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, four

Wow. This episode was 72 hours ago already and I can't stop thinking about it--and not in a good way.

Anyone who is reading here already follows this show and I wonder if anyone else is as stunned by the turn this dinner party took?


(As a complete aside, at this late date, Tamra just posted her blog at Bravo and it's her usual "editing" whitewash http://www.bravotv.com/Real_Housewives_Of_Orange_County/season/4/blogs/index.php?blog=tamra_barney&article=2009/01/wives_gone_wild and for the full he said/she said, here's Andy's blog saying it wasn't just editing http://www.bravotv.com/blogs/Andy/index.php?article=http://www.bravotv.com/blog/andysblog/2009/01/andy_on_andy_1.php Andy's blog is usually pretty good, but gets less than 10 comments a day. After this episode, last check, he had 195 comments )

We start off with Tamra taking an etiquette class. If it weren't so badly needed, it would have been funny. Instead of learning--and there was a huge learning curve--Tamra decided to mug for the cameras and show her vast ignorance of eating utensils. With her husband out of work and Tamra not having a job, I guess BRAVO paid for this excursion as a storyline. It was money wasted. The excuse for Tamra to take this class was because Simon is British (who knew?) and he supposedly has good manners. Once I quell the vision of his doing beer bongs on Lake Havasu, I will try to convince myself of that.

Another cast member who could use etiquette lessons decided instead to go "drunken bowling." If it weren't for this kid getting a CAR for her birthday, I'd chalk this up to "kids being kids." I'd care less about their drinking if they were safely in someone's home or if Bravo showed a cab ferrying the kids home. I guess they thought the disclaimer they flashed at the end, about not condoning underaged drinking and a commercial from MADD, would suffice, but it only served to piss me off more. By the end of this wretched episode, I'd nearly forgotten about Raquel and her blurred out friends.

Despite her maternal shortcomings, I liked seeing Lynne with her hubby, having dinner. Lynne needs to worry a lot less about calories and a whole bunch more about the two bottles of wine that went "missing" from her house (Hmmmm. I wonder where that wine went?)

Raquel may think it's cute to announce her former stealing and drug problem and mug to the camera that at 17/18, she likes to drink, but at some point, her friend's parents and future employers won't be laughing. Lynne should step up as a MOM and not a friend.

Vicki and her visit home? Come on! What hillbillies set bonfires with gasoline and rags? Ha! Not to mention that gas was hovering near five bucks a gallon last summer when this was taped? Jesus. WTF was wrong with her brother's friend, Chuckie???

I guess the apple doesn't fall from the tree since this was my first time seeing Vicki's mother, Joanna. Apparently, mom doesn't want to visit California because when she does, Vicki is too busy for her own mother. When Vicki complains that her mom buys gifts for her brother and sister, Joanne says it's because the other kids need her and Vicki explains that she needs the affirmation more. I'd agree with that after watching Vicki bully her daughter, Brianna, last week into saying she loved Vicki more than her pug. Vicki is an endless pit (or empty "love tank," ahem) that will never be full.

To add to the madness, when Vicki tells her mother she loves her, Joanne answers, "Thank you." This sets Vicki off. I have to imagine Joanne knows Vicki and I have to think she knew this would push that needy button on Vicki...anyhow, it worked.

I don't know why we couldn't untangle ourselves from the awfulness that is Vicki's mother, but we were tortured into finding out that Vicki is hoping mom will start dating again and when given the phone number of another guest's dad at the bonfire from hell, Joanne made a big production of putting the card in her bra. Again--apple not far from the tree. Thankfully, mom doesn't WOO HOO.

I almost felt bad for Tamra as she planned a formal dinner party to show off her "skillz" she learned (or didn't) in etiquette class. I wasn't watching Bravo when Brian Malarkey was a contestant on Top Chef, but his food did look amazing. I know, just from the trip to Napa that Vicki doesn't like seafood so I was surprised Tamra planned a menu that you just knew she'd complain about....but honestly, Simon took the reigns in planning the party and Tamra was little more than window dressing. I did laugh, however, at her contribution of swiffering in her party dress, before the guests arrived and her assessment that the oysters weren't just more than a party in her mouth, but that they were, in fact, better than a beer bong. You just know that Etiquette teacher is somewhere in the OC rolling her eyes.

Suddenly, we find out that Ryan has completed bartending school and he will be working the party as a bartender-helper. Just two weeks ago, Ryan was dropping his idea of becoming a cop...I guess he's on to bigger and better careers. (Side note: according to Brian Malarkey's blog, which is posted on Bravo, he claims Ryan never served one drink the entire night. I tend to believe the innocent bystander to this train wreck, Brian http://www.bravotv.com/Top_Chef/season/5/blogs/index.php?blog=brian_malarkey&article=2009/01/16th_minute_of_fame ).

The guests begin to arrive and Gretchen is feeling down because Jeff told her earlier in the day that he just wanted to come home to die. He was tired of fighting the cancer. I know some people (Tamra, I am looking at you) think Gretchen is just a gold digger, but regardless, Jeff's illness has to have taken an emotional toll and we see it even before the party begins. Tamra announces that she wants the party to be elegant and all about lighting, scents, and fire--or as she says, "All the beautiful things in this world." To her credit, it does look nice from the outside.

The ugliness started early. Tamra and Vicky had nicknames on their place settings--"Hotness" for Tamra and "Woo Hoo" for Vicki. When Gretchen asks about hers, Simon announces hers should be "Greedy Gretchen." And we're off.....(Tamra tries to backtrack in her blog, but her voiceover at this point is, "You're a gold digger. If you walk like a duck, you are a duck." Apparently, Tamra doesn't realize she is a bitch and a crappy hostess. )

Tamra makes a toast to the group and says she doesn't just think of them as friends, she thinks of them as family. To punctuate this point, she "forgets" to clink glasses with Lynne and her husband, Frank. This doesn't escape Lynne, who realizes she is little more than furniture to the senior ranking housewives.

Vicki's voiceover then announces, "I think the most obvious pothead is Lynne. Lynne just seems too carefree to not be high."

Nice...or maybe, Vicki, it's that Lynne isn't hopped up on the diet pills you are hawking all over the internet and screaming, "WOO HOO!" It's not like this is Vicki's first season on this show--those interviews and voiceovers get aired and I wouldn't want to be slandering my neighbor like that, but okay....Vicki followed up her insensitivity by saying Grethen likes to be the center of attention (pot calling the kettle black) and that she doesn't care about Gretchen so why does it have to be about Gretchen. How's that for compassion? And yet this beast wonders why she needs to strong arm family members into saying they love her?

I was surprised to read that in this economy that Simon voluntarily left his job to start a business venture (?? that doesn't sound right) and at dinner, we find out he is involved in a tequila company. Ryan, the bartender who served no drinks, turns up at the dinner table with a tequila shot for Gretchen and he tells her to "take it down." It is then that Tamra lets Vicki in on her plan....to get Gretchen wasted...naked wasted. She adds, "We're going to try to make her do something stupid." True, Tamra had also imbibed quite a bit at this point in the party, but watch the inserted voiceover. Tamra says that Gretchen only wants you to see her in a good light, but there's a part of her that has a dark side. I wonder why it's only TAMRA'S dark side that appears to be shining through? Tamra says she's not sure she can trust Gretchen and that she's the kind of person who believes in your actions and not your words. I fear the audience will say the same of Tamra's actions. Unintended consequence.

During the dinner, Tamra calls to Ryan and informs him that Gretchen needs another tequila shot and in another damning voiceover, Tamra smugly says, "Tequila shots always lead to bad behavior." And so they do.

Dinner soon became full-blown ugly. Gretchen was, as intended, very drunk. She was silly and acting sexual. Tamra says that once Ryan's bartending duties were done, his chair was pulled up pretty close to Gretchen. Even without Brain Malarkey's account, the dinner guests were the only people at the house and they were nearly through with a 7 course meal so how did his bartending duties just...end? There was a sommelier pouring wine and truth be told, I didn't see Ryan bartending on camera, aside for fetching the tequila shots his mom ordered for Gretchen.

Jeana, bless her heart, kept taking the full drinks from in front of Gretchen, but with Ryan in between them, somehow she kept ending up with more drinks. As Lynne told Gretchen not to drink another shot of tequila, we see Tamra elbow her to stop the protesting. Tamra explains to the dissenters that poor Gretchen has been all about the hospital and no fun and she needs this. Nice sentiment, if Gretchen weren't in the company of a hostess with alternative motives....

As Gretchen slurs on about how she's been on her rear end in a hospital and you see what you turn out to be. With that, to my sheer disbelief, Ryan flashes "the shocker" at his mother! Too graphic to go into, but google it. Ryan has a creepy affect to begin with and a fucked up relationship with Tamra since she carted him off to his grandparents so she could marry Simon, but does she have any idea what that hand symbol means? Clearly he wasn't at the party to bartend and Tamra's jealousy has been at the boiling point since Gretchen turned up and dethroned her as the hottest housewife, but would this hot mess of a woman really engage her son in this plot to show a national tv audience "the dark side of Gretchen?" Why can't I doubt it?

Simon, he of the manners Tamra needs classes to emulate tells Gretchen to "stop grabbing yourself and do the damned shot." Tamra tells Gretchen to look out for Ryan because he's a "man whore." This is some family dynamic.

As the party wraps up, Jeana and Lynne are exchanging concerned looks. Ice Queen Vicki has another take. For the second time since the party started, she has a voiceover and she reiterates, "Gretchen likes to be the center of attention and...don't we all?" In one of the most disturbing moments, Ryan and Gretchen are standing in front of the bar and Tamra is somehow just within ear shot when her name is mentioned. She scurries around the corner as Gretchen and Ryan are talking about whether she's hot. Gretchen tells Tamra that Ryan said his mom was "a little hot." Tamra is so grateful for the compliment and she explains that Ryan always says she isn't. Ryan takes full pleasure in telling his mom that "Gretchen is hotter, though," to which Tamra hangs her head in defeat as both women hang on Ryan's arms. There is something NOT right with the mother-son dynamic. Just, ewwwww.

Frank and Lynne offer to drive Gretchen home, but Tamra insists Gretchen will be staying at their house. According to Tamra's voiceover, they were all in the kitchen and then "all of a sudden, Ryan and Gretchen were gone." This was all filmed and I can promise you, Gretchen wasn't going anywhere quickly or quietly in her condition. You can clearly see Gretchen leave the kitchen with Ryan close behind. MOST DISTURBING, though, is Tamra's young daughter is also in the kitchen. How many weeks do we have to tune in to see Tamra's younger kids witnessing her MOM'S bad behavior?

The last scene is the most disturbing and unsettling. Gretchen, who is full on slurring, is telling Ryan that she "has to go potty," and he's telling her, "Come here." She says, "You can't hug me and you can't kiss me, and you can't make out with me." We hear Ryan ask, "Why? Why?" Gretchen is barely intelligible when she answers, "Because I am engaged to a very nice man." He replies, "hey, can I have a hug?" she says, "You totally are a cute guy." Ryan answers, "Oh yeah? How cute," and she replies, "You totally turn me on."

The screen goes black and in big letters, "TO BE CONTINUED"

I hope this is a case of needlessly bad editing, but even if nothing further happens, this show went too far. These ladies are mean to the newest housewives and I would be ashamed to be related to any of them or call them a friend. I don't know what they get paid to humiliate themselves, but their best laid plans of setting each other up only serve to knock them all down.

Besides drawing viewers in for Bravo, who is well served by this show? Gretchen, whose fiancee is now dead, but his kids have been on the show and are well aware of it. What must they think? Tamra's young kids....their teachers and friends' parents? Simon--using this as a launching pad for the now infamous tequila? Vicki! How does her business do when her clients see her as a shot-drinking, woo hooing, oxygen thief who bullies her family, husband, and friends? Jeana also runs a business and and kids who have been involved in this show. Is it worth whoring themselves out, a la Lauri, who left earlier this season, yet bragged about being a "reality show star?"

In the preview for next week, we see all of the housewives except Tamra, having lunch (she must need a brush up on her mad etiquette skillz). Vicki is talking at Lynne and when she attempts to answer back, Jeana interrupts her. Jeana's voiceover says "You don't step on the mama dogs." Get over yourself, Jeana. This bit about "we've been on this show longer and we haze new housewives" is bullshit and FYI, mama dogs are also known as bitches and that's precisely what's wrong with this show.

Real Housewives of Orange County

I came late to this series, or "tardy to the party," for my fellow Atlanta viewers. By the time I had Bravo on my tv lineup, Tamra was part of the cast so I can't say much about some of the earlier ladies who came and went...except to say the ones who left with some dignity are probably breathing a sigh of relief.

Vicki? Gosh, what can be said about Vicki?? I want to admire her work ethic and congratulate her on raising a daughter who seems so normal, but it's hard to get past the "woo hooing," petty jealousies, and overall neediness of this woman. On a shallow note, I don't know if it's the introduction, this season of HDTV or just the ugliness shining through, but Vicki has become more difficult to look week after week. Vicki's constant demand for attention and knocking down of the new housewives is literally exhausting.

I like Jeana, which isn't surprising because there isn't much to dislike. She seems like a nice lady and she manages to push Vicki's buttons without even trying. This season has shown Jeana updating her bedroom and hopefully making positive steps towards moving forward in her life.

Tamra...the self-proclaimed hottest housewife...or at least until Grethen joined the cast. Honestly, when she crowned herself with that title, she didn't have much competition so it was a hollow victory, but one that Tamra seems completely unwilling to relinquish. Sad. I hope she's a better mother and friend than she comes across on tv.

The internet was abuzz before Gretchen joined the cast. Sadly, it appears the info was generated from Camp Tamra. I was fully prepared for a nasty gold digger, but Gretchen turned out to be a breath of fresh air. She's goofy, self-effacing, and surprisingly honest about her relationship with Jeff. I think, by far, Gretchen is the most likable of the group.

That brings us to the last minute addition of Lynne. The jury, for me, is still out. Initially, I didn't care for Lynne--especially her parenting style--but I've seen a side of her when she deals with Gretchen that is very kind and she doesn't let the "senior" housewives boss her around. I admire that about her.

I guess no post about this season's RHoOC would be complete without a brief mention of Lauri. I'm glad she left (though she sure came back for a cameo pretty quickly). Her son needs her a lot more than tv viewers and her new meshed family seems rather "complicated" so maybe it's best she concentrate her better efforts there...?

How did I get here??

Welcome to my little blog.

I don't how when it happened...seemed not that long ago that I was a grown up, with a job, and time only for watching cable news and reading books and then somewhere along the line, I got sucked in. It started innocently, when I caught a few episodes of a Laguna Beach marathon on MTV one Saturday afternoon. The kids on that show were half my age, but I couldn't look away.

Last spring, I was traveling and hotel tv is notoriously bad. I'd seen every in room movie so after reading emails, I clicked on Amazon to see what I could order on Unbox. There was something called "Real Housewives of New York City." NYC? That's my hometown. Feeling homesick, what else could I do but order it? I watched 8 episodes in one day. My addiction had begun.

Returning back to Manhattan this summer, I moved and now Bravo was on my basic cable line up and I officially became Bravo's bitch. Whatever "reality" show they decided to air took top billing on my DVR. From Sheer Genius to Date my Ex, I watched it all.

Then came the fall and of course, the Real Housewives of Atlanta. I admit to being torn, one Tuesday about watching the Presidential debate instead of NeNe and Kim (I couldn't unleash the DVR fast enough after the debate ended). Now, it's reached a whole new level with the "ladies" of Orange County. Laguna Beach has now turned to The Hills and of course, The City--must see Monday night viewing!

My family and friends do not watch these shows (or if they do, they are as mortified as I am). Reality programming has become my guilty pleasure....to the point that I find myself watching hours of re-run marathons on the weekends for shows I have already watched once, or twice, already. I cannot be the only one!!