Confessions of a train wreck tv watcher: 2009-03-22

The cartoon is just a little kitchen humor directed at Real Housewives of NYC's Bethenny Frankel. I DVR'd tonight's episode, which was good because the past few weeks have been boring and predictable so I just semi-watched while they aired and didn't bother with a re-cap. The truth is--I can't stand Bethenny Frankel and it actually has LITTLE to do with her incredibly annoying voice!!

Tonight, I rewound several parts just to make sure I could accurately quote Miss Bethenny. I was stunned at her hypocrisy so here are the quotes I had trouble with (both are directed squarely at fellow castmember, Kelly Killoren Bensimon):

43 minutes in, she looks directly at the camera and says, "Her reputation is someone who is really, really trying desperately to be famous."

The next gem, attributed to some "unknown people" who have been talking to Bethenny happened 47 minutes into the episode, and again, was announced straight into the camera so there's zero chance of bad editing or misquoting/splicing, "People have said to me that she's extremely enamored with celebrities and it's very important to her to be associating with influencers and celebrities and, and, and, people like that. I know celebrities, too. It's my work. It's not my goal."

Now please, in the name of IRONY, please tell me these words weren't declared by Bethenny Frankel of not ONE, but TWO reality tv shows. Yes, the celebrity-seeking contestant of Martha Stewart's Apprentice and The Real Housewives non-housewife.

Go back in time to 1994 and check out Bethenny in "Hollywood Hills 90028" or given its reviews...don't. Here's the synopsis on www.imdb.com It's not pretty http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369540/

From there, you only have to read Bethenny's blog this week to learn more of her "celebrity" connections..."I produced large-scale events such as the Grammys, Emmys, movie premieres, and more... in my past life.

This not-so-kind assessment of Bethenny comes from the OC Register, which does a great job of covering their own OC Housewives "The reality TV world surprises us sometimes with all of the interconnections. We saw a great example of that this week on “Dancing With the Stars.”

And we’re not talking about Bethany Frankel of “The Real Housewives of New York” (and Martha Stewart’s version of “The Apprentice”), who was sitting in the audience Monday and practically waving into the camera every time it pointed her way."
http://pedrowatcher.freedomblogging.com/2009/03/20/reality-tv-its-a-small-world-after-all/4569/
Yes, Bethenny of blogging on *any* show on Bravo and now expanding that to blogging on Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bethenny-frankel/the-business-of-reality-t_b_172147.html In Bethenny's own words, "Well, it is true. I am now a reality star.

I always say it is about the journey not the destination and this is part of my journey.

In my years of acting, TV production, then movie production, then event production and ultimately pashmina importing, I never knew that I would become a chef to the stars and more famous for my role in The Real Housewives of New York City.

I always say, "Don't hate the player, hate the game."

When it comes from a woman who apparently has chased (and found) stardom of sorts, touts herself as a CELEBRITY chef, writes a book, incorporates how she can help Oprah with her weight loss book on nearly every interview, blogs anywhere there is an audience, tells reporters that she used to babysit Paris Hilton, and finally, is so in love with her own reflection in the backdrop of "Dancing with the Stars," where does Bethenny get off criticizing *ANYONE* of being "really, really desperate to get famous," when in fact, she is the complete embodiment of that accusation? It's a kind revision of history when Bethenny claims that she "knows celebrities because it's her work and not her goal." Precisely what "work" was involved with "Dancing with the Stars?"

Unlike Bethenny, I don't hate the player nor the game. It just seems like a pile of hypocrisy for her to accuse Kelly Bensimon of doing something she has actively done since 1994.

Dear Bethenny--you'd better check yourself before you wreck yourself. (I know that's one of your favorite lines to repeat, ad nauseum, but I couldn't resist)

1. We begin this week's episode with Kelly sorting through her Fashion Week invites, but I'm distracted by the giant horse statue that resides in her living room. Jill pays a visit to her fav NYC designer, Zang Toi. He's ADORABLE in his kilt, and his legs are enviably hairless. I wasn't familiar with his clothes, but they look amazing on Jill....most especially the ball gown!! It was nice to see Jill feeling like a princess (although, truth be told, there is no way in hell she's a size zero....and not because she's overweight, but because she's busty). Still, the clothes in this collection make Jill look radiant and it's so nice to see.

Fashion Week has even hit the 'burbs and Alex and Simon are traipsing through Brooklyn to meet up with their local designers. I KNOW these two are always saying that they are each other's stylists, but REALLY (!!) why is Simon here? None of the other housewives (on any franchise--OC, ATL, or NYC) have this co-dependent relationship with their husbands.... He's just TOO involved. Listening to his monologue about how living in NYC means having to own the right number of little black dresses (how is he an authority on this topic, Mr Hotel General Manager??), followed quickly by his 'vasectomy revelation'....ugh! My stomach.

2. Jill, Bethenny, and Ramona meet up with Jill's friend, Christina to talk charity stuff and it can't be overstated that Christina has a rooftop garden and view TO DIE FOR!!!! CreakyJoints sounds like a terrific charity.

Bethenny says in her voiceover that she gets frustrated at these meetings because "it's a lot of talking." I can't imagine how else the details would be hammered out (hieroglyphics?) and what more important things does Bethenny have to be doing..? Baking cookies and cupcakes? (Okay, that seems snarky, but just last week, Bethenny asked Alex to join her at the health expo and I don't remember Alex criticizing that all it amounted to was handing out muffins and cookies). Besides, Bethenny was finding a way to market her "skinny girl" margaritas so it wasn't a complete waste of her time.

3. Next, Kelly is off to Russel Simmons' Fashion Show. I don't know if this is directly related to the addition of Kelly Bensimon to the cast, but Russel has been in at least three episodes of the RHoNYC this season. He's almost neck and neck with Simon in the camera-whoredom department.

Speaking, again, of Simon, I was confounded by his confrontation of Ramona this week. They were in the front row of the fashion show and (again) not another husband in sight. WHY IS HE EVEN THERE?? We don't see Mario or Bobby. Anyway, wrong time and place for the discussion he was trying to have with Ramona. He's not a cast member, but I'm pretty sure (with all his personal interviews and voiceovers) that he thinks he is one. Here's a clue, Simon, when someone is avoiding you, you can't possibly think that a crowded fashion show (with reality tv cameras rolling) make it an appropriate venue for ironing out last season's tiffs?

4. Kelly and LuAnn visit the Malo cashmere store. LuAnn and Kelly are both so statuesque that they could be sisters. I don't know why Kelly was being such a stick-in-the-mud. LuAnn is coming off a rough few weeks as "The Countess/Manners Hypocrite" so it was surprising to see the LuAnn of last season--who is actually damn likeable. In my humble opinion, the cashmere dress looked better on LuAnn and I totally didn't get Kelly's pairing the hat with the gorgeous dress. LuAnn settled on a beautiful black sleveless number, which fit her perfectly.

In the Malo store, LuAnn mentions Jill's charity and there's the foreshadowing that Jill hasn't included Kelly in the planning stages and I could understand Kelly's trepidation of being invited to the charity meeting second-hand.

At the Malo show, LuAnn and Kelly dish on the Ramona-Simon feud. LuAnn mostly threw Ramona under the bus. She downplayed the "Simon at girls night" from last season (which was the very beginning of the creepiness that *is* Simon) and proceeded to run Ramona over a few more times, back up, and run her over again.

Kelly, for the second time, expresses her concern about getting involved with Jill's charity, yet LuAnn apparently doesn't pass this info to Jill and that will be critical later. I do *not* understand Kelly's reluctance to have her name on invitations, but at least she's been consistent in saying this two days in a row. If LuAnn was assuming the role of messenger, she should have relayed not just the invitation, but also the feedback she was getting.

5. Jill and Ally arrive at the Zang Toi fashion show luncheon (YAY Ally is back!) As she explained last season, Jill is a "connector" and she clearly likes hooking up this designer with her circle of friends who can afford his clothing line.

I was surprised to see Bethenny at the luncheon, but I'd forgotten she was on the cover of "Social Life" magazine and the gown she was wearing was by Zang.

The fashion show luncheon was a great success and Jill was clearly in her element.

6. Kelly goes to Jill Stuart's studio to interview her. Her interview "style" was all over the place and I'm not sure what "gems" she got for her article, based on the awkward conversation we saw. I'll cut her some slack in that she works for "Page Six Magazine" for the NY Post--a publication that won't be winning any Pulitzers in the foreseeable future.

7. Bethenny and Jill have a girls' dinner at Le Cirque. I love this restaurant and I was surprised/disappointed that they allowed filming of a reality show in their dining room. Bethenny *finally* decides to tell about her reasons for not liking Kelly, which dates back TWO YEARS. I am puzzled because in the very first episode of this season, when she and Jill are in the Hamptons and Jill begs Bethenny to tell her everything she knows about Kelly, she didn't mention a peep about the crap she made seem a big deal tonight.

Anyway, according to Bethenny, two years ago, Kelly was supposed to host a party for Bethenny's friend, Ginny Hilfiger, at Kelly's apt and Bethenny says that Kelly didn't even bother showing up until TOMMY HILFIGER arrived and worse yet, Bethenny is sure that Kelly was hitting on Bethenny's boyfriend at the time, Kevin. Kevin was a famous photographer and Bethenny swears she was paying too much attention to him and saying she wanted to book him to take her pictures, etc. So, there's a history...and now the rivalry seems to make sense.

The funniest part of the whole episode was Jill's objection to Kelly's not wearing a bra (or as she pronounces it..."brar")!! Bobby Zarin does not need to see wandering breasts (and frankly, neither does anyone else.)

8. Yes, it's still fashion week and although Bethenny keeps protesting to the camera that she's not a "fashionista" and she's so not into fashion, we are about to see her attend yet another fashion show (and she lists three others to Kelly that we DIDN'T see her attend...). She's been invited by Jill Stuart's publicist to Jill's show. Naturally, we already know that Kelly and Jill Stuart are chummy and Kelly has an interview coming out about Jill's line so, for sure, she will also be there. (Also, audience, be real--surely the film crews KNEW these two would be filmed at this event for tonight's episode. We're not as naive as the plot line would suggest).

Bethenny was next to Jill Stuart's publicist and Kelly was with Howard Stern's wife, Beth, so I have no idea why Kelly and Bethenny chose to sit directly next to each other, except that it gave them each an opportunity to move their hair around and look uncomfortable....and give the camera crew something to tape.

I have to agree with Kelly's interview assessment that she invited Bethenny to see the work of a photographer with her and Bethenny basically turned it into a pissing contest of who knew whom better, etc. It was a really passive-aggressive moment for Bethenny. If she wanted to bring up the long-forgotten moment of Kelly flirting with a boyfriend...who is at least two boyfriends ago, then she should do it or let it go.

(Who ELSE is late for this meeting? Uh, ALEX and apparently, Ramona)

9. And now for the best scene of the ENTIRE season. Charity meeting number two at Christina's fab apt and Kelly shows up late. (Upon reading Alex's blog on Bravo, apparently, she was LATER than Kelly so I'm not sure why the late arrival seemed to set everyone off). Anyway, Kelly immediately puts her foot in her mouth by responding to the news that Ally has arthritis by saying, "Oh that's cute." True, that was about the last thing to say, BUT I blame Jill for the set up on this. After being invited, secondhand, by LuAnn, clearly Kelly doesn't even know the basics on the event.

Predictably, the issue of being named an Honorary Co-Chair and appearing on the invite is broached. The Countess knew this several days prior so there's a communication breakdown between Jill and everyone serving on her charity. As soon as Kelly voices her objection to being tied to *any* charity (not just this one) Bethenny starts shooting looks all over the room as if this woman has just murdered her cat. For Bethenny, clearly, this isn't about the charity, but it's an easy foil for her agenda of not liking Kelly. Period.

Kelly expresses that she is at the meeting to get info and she's happy to attend and/or work in the trenches, but she doesn't want her name on it. As Bethenny flashes crazy-eyed looks around the table, the girl next to her asks, "Who is she?" in regards to Kelly and Bethenny thinks it's time for one of her self-congratulatory one liners, "Evidently, she's Madonna." It was a catty moment and not funny, especially from the person who is using the charity to market her alcoholic signature drink and playing bartender at the event.

Bethenny then launches into some lecture about "coming from a place of no," where she kind of lost me, but I thought Kelly's blog on Bravo's site summed it up best that the "place of yes," vs "place of no," is clearly something one would hear on a therapist's couch and I agree (http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/blogs/kelly-killoren-Bensimon/b-is-for-bully-not-baked-goods).

Bethenny accuses Kelly of showing up at the charity a half an hour late and by saying what she would and wouldn't do, that she made the meeting all about herself, but it all goes back to the fact that Jill should have reached out to Kelly, personally, in advance of the meeting and gotten her approval. I can't imagine Bethenny being in a "place of yes" if the same scenario was thrown at her.

Next week promises to be AWESOME with Kelly and Bethenny really duking it out.

**It should be said that I don't care much for Kelly!! I was totally unaware of her before she joined this show and when she was arrested, a few weeks back, for putting the beatdown on her boytoy, I dredged up every article I could find in the NY papers and posted them on my blog. I don't think Kelly fits in well or adds much to the dynamic of this show, BUT in this argument, I don't think Bethenny has a leg to stand on....and I'll post why in my next entry.

Here, also are Bethenny's blog http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/blogs/bethenny-frankel/bang-it-out .

In case you need Trashy Tamra Barney's perspective (??) she offers her support for Bethenny (who, curiously blogged in support of Tamra in the hideous episode that became known for Tamra getting a houseguest "naked wasted") http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/blogs/tamra-barney/cut-the-bs