"Real" Housewives of NYC

I had so many posts dedicated to the antics of those crazy Orange County Housewives, yet I can barely type a write-up on the Housewives in my own city....of NYC.

Unlike 90% of the blogosphere, I CANNOT stand Bethenny Frankel. God help me!! I can't stand her shrill voice or her corny second-hand lines that she passes off as her own. For example........"Check yourself before you wreck yourself." Sure...we *ALL* know Ice Cube uttered that phrase in 2006. Right? Cough, cough?

Apparently not. Bethenny used that in the final show with Andy Cohen and the cast cracked up. This week, in cast blogs, not only does Bethenny recycle it, but Jill uses it.

I find Bethenny soooooo annoying and so self-congratulatory that I find the show hard to watch. I am ever so grateful that Bethenny owned up to throwing up in her own mouth over watching herself, on this week's episode, talking about how envious others are of her....because we were all feelin' it.

Weakly, she wrote, that she didn't realize how that would play out. Uh---I can never see how it would have played out well. Patting yourself on the back that hard? Yeah--we weren't envious. Trust me. We were all feeling badly for you and luckily, you did catch on. (We wanted to tell you to "Check yourself, etc.") I am 99% sure Luanne was dubbed "Discountess" somewhere else before Bethenny STOLE that one-liner.

I like Jill. She's a busy body and I think either Bravo should give her gay boyfriend, Brad, his own show or cut him lose. He sucks the oxygen out of the show. I know Jill's daughter was in Paris, etc, but we do *NOT* need a sub-plot of Ginger (her dog) or Brad. Her husband, Bobby, is awesome and we could use more of Gloria, her mom.

What we could use a whole lot LESS of is the "Zarin fabrics," multilevel chocolate diet scheme, your Ebay site, your sister's radio show, your "Team Jill" tee shirt tie in, and every other link you can possibly put on your blog!!! This is a mindless tv show---not an infomercial for every business endeavor you have ever considered. It's a recession and we are home watching Bravo because we do NOT own homes in the Hamptons. Just stop!!

Crazy-eyed Ramona has never bothered me. I find her amusing and I like Mario and Avery. In real life, I'd avoid Ramona like the plague, but since she's part of the show, I watch her and I love her Hamptons house.

Luanne? Luanne, Luanne, Luanne. Goodness gracious. Telling the pizza delivery guy that you are a COUNTESS? Ridiculous. As ridiculous as chastising Bethenny last season for using your "real" first name with the limo driver. Luanne--you are the Count's THIRD wife. Get over yourself. We have *ALL* read about you in the NY Post for your drunken and cavorting escapades so drop the etiquette crap. See where E-T-T-I-Q-U-E-T-T-E bullshit got Tamra and avoid that pitfall. You are setting yourself up for a huge fall and the other castmember's blogs are showing you up.

I totally discount AlexandSimon. Yes, they are one word. They're fake to the extreme and the beauty is that they are clueless that this show (their vehicle to SOCIETY) shows them up as frauds so I watch and laugh that fake laugh as they expose themselves (and much more when Simon wears his speedo). Their kids are terrors that I hope I'm never seated next to on a small airplane.

And that only leaves Kelly Killoren Bensimon, whose arrest I dedicated at least three posts to this week. She is soooo mannish and in light of the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna crap, she should be held to the same standard.

As for the broad shoulders and the fake uber-educated prose blogs she posts? Yeah--thanks for the rundown this week on everything that happened since you last wrote? I was sure bored to tears with the detail----------------until I realized you left out the whole ARREST thing that happened. Try again, doll. True? Yes, your booking sheet actually indicates you ARE a man!! It was a mistake, but an understandable one at that. At what was it you said on camera about "Kelly-time?" You said that mean something FUN was gonna happen. Did you mean a smackdown? Was your boyfriend sporting flesh wounds and that can only mean...."Kelly time?!?"

Here in Manhattan, no one who is really "high society" would ever consent to these camera crews and crazy editing. Ditto on the West Coast (and clearly in Atlanta). It makes for good basic cable TV, but these divas let the "fame" of basic cable get to their heads---and THAT it why it's fun to watch!! Further, I read a blog Bethenny submitted to Huffington Post last week (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bethenny-frankel/the-business-of-reality-t_b_172147.html) What's so funny in reading her post, in earnest, is that this shrill bitch *STILL* doesn't get that the joke is on her.

Absolutely, I will still DVR "The Real Housewives of NYC." It's mind candy. Empty calorie tv, by definition....and watching these ladies take themselves so seriously is incredibly funny. They can write all the "CYA" blogs they want....the joke is (and always has been ) squarely on them.